张小盒 发表于: 2007-12-06 21:49 | |
感谢李泉盒同学的翻译
李泉盒译注：
1、 人物姓名未定；
2、 文中加粗标注部分稍感不妥，请大家讨论
3、 欢迎拍砖，MSN：
leonycl@gmail.com QQ：8348326
张小盒的：
Xiaohe “BOXIE” Chang:
1：大家好，我是张小盒，我擅长加班，不擅长追女孩，不擅长讨好老板。
Hi, everyone. I’m Xiaohe “BOXIE” Chang. I’m good at working extra hours, but suck in chasing girls and kissing my boss’ ass.
2：闹钟不响，马路不通，电梯不入，世界都不正常时，打卡机总是正常的. Clocks not working, roads jammed, elevators stuck—nothing ever works, yet card punchers work perfectly. (BOXIE)
3；加薪引导人民。（张小盒）
A salary raise is our best leader. (BOXIE)
4：这是一个不用加班的周末，那就把生命浪费在无所事事上吧。（张小盒）
I don’t have to work this weekend, so I can happily waste my time by doing nothing. (BOXIE)
5：马拉是被人刺死，而我是过劳死的。（张小盒）
Marat was stabbed to death, and I’m worked to death. (BOXIE)
6：加班的虫子，天天一样被鸟吃。（张小盒）
If worms work extra hours, they are working to get caught by birds. (BOXIE)
7：别惹女人。（张小盒）
Don’t mess with women. (BOXIE)
8：人是否幸福，在于网络是否不正常。（张小盒在MSN无法登录时深感幸福）
A man’s happiness depends on whether internet works. (Boxie is the happiest when MSN won’t log in.)
9：如果不是小布什逼我加班，你们能天天看见我站在这吗！（张小盒扮成自由女神）
If it weren’t Bush to keep me working extra hours, could you ever see me standing here every day?! (Boxie as Statue of Liberty)
10：警告你，我们打工仔可不是好欺负的！（张小盒）
I warn you: don’t ever try to bully us bread earners! (BOXIE)
11：凡是资本家都是纸老虎。（张小盒的井阳岗）
Every capitalist is merely a paper tiger. (Boxie on Jingyang Ridge)
12：如果我们是超人，就打倒老板，再找一份工作。（张小盒）
If we were supermen, we’d beat our boss and then find another job. (BOXIE)
13：如果公司倒BI了，我们什么事都干得出来！（众人）
If our company is f**ked up, we’ll do anything, ANYTHING! (Everyone)
14：员工和老板团结起来，会象葫芦兄弟一样神通广大。（张小盒）
All staffs stick together with the boss, and become mighty all-mighty. (BOXIE)
15：没钱是痛苦的，为了赚钱变成VC高，会不会更痛苦呢？（张小盒）
It’s painful to be broke, but will it be more painful if I become VC Gao for making more money? (BOXIE)
莉莉盒的：
Lily Box:
16：相了3次亲，对男人有了更深了解。（莉莉盒谈春节怎么过的）
3 blind dates, I came to understand men more thoroughly. (Lily talking about her Spring Festival.)
17：我只想做一颗糖。（莉莉盒的三八妇女节）
I wanna be a sugar baby. (Lily on Women’s Day)
18：莉莉盒对男人的看法
Lily Box’s perspective on men
小的时候，莉莉盒认为潘金莲是个坏女人，西门庆是个坏人。长大以后，莉莉盒认为潘金莲不一定是坏女人，西门庆依然是个坏人。莉莉盒总结了一下，男人分三种类型：要么是西门庆，要么是武松，要么武大郎，莉莉盒还没决定应该嫁给谁……
In her childhood, Lily thought that Pan Jin Lian was a bad woman, and Xi Men Qing was a bad man. After becoming an adult, Lily thinks that Pan Jin Lian might not be so bad, yet Xi Men Qing is still a bad man. The way Lily looks, there are three types of men: Xi Men Qing, Wu Song, or Wu Da Lang—Lily hasn’t decided to which one she should marry…
19：莉莉盒的爱情畅想
Lily Box’s expectations on love
莉莉盒想找一个浪漫的男人做男朋友，又想找一个踏实的男人过日子。
Lily wants a romantic man for boyfriend, and an honest man to live with.
和浪漫的男人去度假一定不会闷，莉莉盒很怕闷的，而且浪漫的男人会让自己觉得青春不会白白过去，希望他能懂得音乐、绘画，要风趣，能逗莉莉盒笑，如果会写几首诗也挺好，衣着要比较出众，不一定要贵，但是要有些品味。莉莉盒觉得自己能够配得上一个浪漫的男人，而周围的男人都不够浪漫。
A vacation with a romantic man won’t be boring—Lily doesn’t want to be bored. Besides, a romantic man will make her days well spent. The romantic man should know something about music, painting, and should be funny enough to keep Lily happy. Writing poems once in a while will be great; his look shall be outstanding; clothes don’t need to be all expensive ones, but a good taste is a must. Lily Box thinks she deserves a romantic man, but no man she knows is romantic enough.
但是，找个踏实的男人会更可靠些，至少不会骗自己，莉莉盒想，如果被一个不踏实的男人给骗了，岂不是更加浪费了青春？如果是一个踏实的男人，应该会煮饭，有爱心，懂得体贴，自己发脾气的时候不会离开。说不一定谈着谈着，就结婚了，结婚也没什么不好，这样的男人肯定会更体贴的，而不象有些人结了婚反而心淡了。还会爱孩子，恋家，这样也很好啊。
其实，在莉莉盒心里最底最底，不好意思说出来的是，她想嫁个有钱人……
But an honest man is more reliable, at least he won’t cheat. The way Lily looks, if she got cheated by a dishonest man, her days would’ve been wasted, right? An honest man should know how to cook, be considerate and care for her enough that he won’t leave when she’s being unreasonable. Some days later maybe he will marry her; marriage isn’t that bad, and such a man will care for her more in a marriage, instead of getting bored of her like some guys. Such a man will also love kids and stay at home all the time—that would be great. Actually, at the bottom of Lily’s heart, which she finds embarrassing, is her expectation to marry a rich man…
20：每个爱漂亮的女人背后都有一个受伤的男人。（莉莉盒的井阳岗）
There is always a man suffering behind the back of a woman who keeps a good look. (Lily on Jingyang Ridge)
VC高的
VC Gao:
21：再加把劲，再拉多15米这个月就不用扣工资了！（VC高）
C’mon, another 15m and no salary deduction this month! (VC Gao)
22：为民除害，然后修高尔夫球场！（VC高的井阳岗）
Kill the bad guy, and build a golf course! (VC Gao on Jingyang Ridge)
23：尿不出，不许取笑我, 这是我勤奋多年的一点后遗症而已。（VC高）
I can’t pee—don’t’ you laugh at me, it’s just a side effect from years of hard work. (VC Gao)
24：根据公司规定, 拿了薪水的员工，不得拥有署名权。（VC高）
As per company regulation, any paid employee won’t have the right of authorship. (VC Gao)
25：钱是好东西，省着点花。（VC高）
Money is good, keep it in your pocket. (VC Gao)
26：盒饭加肉
Fast food with meat
生活不就是为了多几块肉吃！由于公司员工对盒饭的意见很大，VC高最近改进了员工的伙食，在成本不变的前提下,有效增加了食物的数量。VC高真是个好老板,VC高自己这么觉得，……尽管他发现肉小了很多。
Life is all about getting more slices of meat! Since our employees complained a lot on fast foods, VC Gao improved our meals recently by efficiently increasing the amount of food without adding cost. VC Gao is a good boss, VC Gao said to himself…though he finds the slices of meat are much much smaller.
黄阿狗的
Huang Doggie
27：站着就能睡觉，是睡觉的最高境界。（黄阿狗）
Stand and sleep—the master of sleeping. (Huang Doggie)
28：天下的VC高一般黑。（黄阿狗）
Every VC Gao is deceitful. (Huang Doggie)
29：公司都快成夜总会了，夜晚总是要开会。（黄阿狗）
Our company is turning into a night club, a club that holds meetings at night. (Huang Doggie)
30：有位高薪水的女人因找不到适合的男人差点跳楼？她只要把薪水分给我就不用跳楼了。（黄阿狗）
A high-salary woman tried to jump off a building, just because she can’t find her Mr. Right? She wouldn’t need to jump, just share her salary with me. (Huang Doggie)
31：花钱多挣钱少，加班多加薪少，真是无颜见江东美女啊。
I spend more money than I can make, and my work is harder than the salary can rise, how can I ever return to my ladies back home.
——黄阿狗绝笔（出演《霸王别姬》时）
–Huang Doggie’s last words (in Farewell My Concubines)
其他的
Misc
32：上班族每天认真工作不超过三小时，其余时间是在为互联网贡献流量。
Office workers work with full strength for no more than 3 hours a day, and the remaining time they’re making contributions by increasing Internet flow.
33：幻想是办公室不可缺少的春药。
Fantasy is a necessary Viagra in an office.
34：欢迎来到西方极乐世界，门票就是把头用力撞向墙壁。
Welcome to heaven, please buy your ticket by punching your head against the wall.
35：办公室最容易流行的，是流行病。（办公室太容易传染疾病了）
The most popular thing in an office is epidemic. (Illness spreads too easily in offices)
36：世界睡眠日是上班族最重要的节日。
The International Sleeping Day is the most important holiday for office workers.
37：大海航行靠老板，万物生长靠美眉 ，干革命靠的是员工们瞪大眼睛流着血汗……
Sailing relies on boss, life growth relies on pretty ladies, and business growth relies on workers who keep eyes wide open, sweating and bleeding…
38：不想做白领，就做愤青吧
Become a white-collar or become a cynic.
上班族上班, 是为了做白领，做职业经理人，做老板。如果不想做白领，可以不上班。
Office workers work to be white-collars, professional managers, or bosses. If you don’t wanna be white-collar, you don’t need to work.
不上班可以做什么? 在没有钱的情况下？没有钱，又不想上班，又有文化，那就是愤青了。
What can you do if you don’t work? And you are broke? No money, no work, and you are educated, well, you are a qualified cynic.
39：如果不上班，我们能做什么？
What can we do if we don’t work?
可以去旅游，可以哪都不去，可以玩游戏，可以发发呆，可以吃，可以喝，可以玩，可以交朋友结友，可以看书，可以听音乐，可以看电影，可以爬雪山，可以睡草地，可以骂人，可以爱人，可以做爱，可以做饭，可以做菜，可以愤世，可以犬马，可以……
We can go anywhere, or go nowhere; we can play pc games, stay in a daze, or eat, drink, play, make friends, read, listen to music, watch movies, climb snow mountains, sleep on lawn, get in love with someone, make love to someone, cook something, make some meals, be a cynic, keep busy, etcetera, etcetera…
但是，无论做什么事，都很快会腻的，只有上班和加班，因为有VC高的督促，有扣钱，有奖金，有办公室政治，有做不完的事，所以，没法腻……
Anything we do, however, will soon get us bored. Only work and work extra hours, with supervision from VC Gao, salary deduction, bonus and with office politics and business that can never be done, will never get us bored…
40：中午吃什么？
What’s for lunch?
哈姆雷特说：“To be, or not to be，这是个问题。” 哈利波特说：“伏地魔在哪？这是个问题。”
我们上班族每天都在问自己：“中午吃什么？” 这才是最TNND的让人讨厌的问题
Hamlet: “To be or not to be, that’s a question.”
Hari Potter: “Where is Voldemort? That’s a question.”
We office workers ask to ourselves everyday: “What’s for lunch?” that’s the most f**king annoying question.
41：为什么世界是方的？因为地球是方的。为什么地球是方，因为我们生活在盒子里。
Why the world is a square? Because the earth is a square. Why the earth is a square—because we live in boxes.
42：办公楼是盒子，办公室也是盒子，家也是盒子，车、电梯、文件、桌子、椅子、书等一切一切都是盒子，一个盒子套着一个盒子。因为，每个人都在一个又一个盒子里生存，移动，所以，人也是盒子。
Office buildings are boxes, offices are boxes, houses are boxes, cars, elevators, files, chairs, books and everything out of everything are boxes, and boxes out of boxes. Since everyone lives and moves in and around boxes, we are also boxes.
